I have been reflecting quite a lot those last days. Weeks. Months.
And writing too! Oups! The last, only since a few weeks.
Now, at least, I feel peaceful and refresh and I can go forward.
There is that tiny hope too that my lead-singer is slightly better.
Just a kind of presence… Could it be true?
I wish it for him with all my heart.
I realise what a hell it is for him.
And some news from his country keep on being bad.
I am sad for him, indeed! And for so many reasons.
For me, it has also been a very taunting and challenging time, in a different way, of course.
I must admit, though, I feel different on many levels than some times ago.
To the point that I am tempted to withdraw some of the last posts.
However they are part of an evolution.
Now, it takes more to get me out of balance.
Even if some people seem always to push me out of my comfort zones and very keen to do so.
I mean, some people on Internet are acting so strangely.
Some are absolutely fascinating, but like in real life, such a charisma is often very trying.
Really, I am feeling quite alright.
Different tactics have bring me there.
One, I think, I own to an avatar I created for that very purpose.
Vincent Valentine.
There I pour all my griefs and sorrows, and I have just done it and cried.
And now, nothing! A really fine quietness.
The fact is that there I exaggerate my pain.
Is it why it works?
Another avatar is really what I would call a Jester.
Reno Ze Canuck! Yes! I know…
And honestly, I need him very badly!
To makes a blog with fun as sole purpose has an incredible healing effect too.
But this is not always the easiest. As humor is such a personal feeling.
My oldest blog is Clarté and there, at the moment, I am blackmailing my folk.
DiCaprio and his 11 hour are going to stay until I have at least 3 comments.
Anyhow!
At MC La Clarté? Well, normally it is called “Music above everything”.
But I feel free enough to put what I want.
All that zoo as one of my friends calls it has a very nice effect on me.
Today, I work both on my literary project at Lou and on Joey Mac Louie.
I changed his avatar from Isaac Newton to Trent Reznor. Plus a text.
Well, the most funny is that I locate Joey in Pennsylvania and that Reznor was born there.
At Lou, I reworked a text coming from a comment I did at a friend place and I am quite happy.
Nearly the same text is at Over-blog, a French one, I started some months from here.
But at Lou, I feel troubled because 2 of the most important friends, men, have decided to squat.
Men! Just not what I need to have on my mind.
Just when I thought I was over that kind of struggle!
MayJo Cat! She is supposedly the twin sis of Reno! Big fun as those 2 are often quibbling!
There, today, I put a text about passion! Again. Well, yes, again!
Just fed up that everybody sees passions only from the sentimental aspect.
O! And yes! There are 2 more avatars!
A very sweet girl with some hidden strength, however, and Artus!
Yeah! The Pen-dragon!
So, I take all that Jazz a bit at a time!
Because!
On top of this, something like 2 weeks ago, a French woman, Anne, asked me to be are pen-friend.
And I agreed. So, no time to be a lazy bone.
Also, I am working on an idea about jealousy.
Internet jealousy is something I discovered very soon.
And it is a killer.
As I have already been through that, and God or Angels be blessed for their help, it doesn’t hold its grip on me.
Not for a very long time.
As a matter of fact, John being away since ages, the only man able to really challenge me is a french one.
I’ll call him Jim. But as he is very straightforward, it is not too difficult to keep myself from being hurt.
However, I made many mistakes.
At my age, I should know, people are only pretending to want the truth.
Or only the truth which suits them.
The fact is, I am relieved now to have that place.
Don’t tell a soul, I am here in hiding…
As I have a host of followers.
Good god!
When I think that some people crave for attention while it is such a difficult thing to handle.
It takes SO much of one freedom.
