I can’t say I am a specialist about it.
All what follows, are mere observations from here and there.
Although, Ted Andrews in his book Animals-speak, makes me aware in a different way about the world of animals.
My two favorite seasons in this country are the Spring and the Autumn.
And both see the passages of birds.
And it makes me thing that this fascination speaks about me, who I am.
At heart, I am a traveller.
Not even a gypsy, I think.
Well, there I may be wrong as until now I always came back to my native country.
But, presently, I feel unattached to it for different reasons.
Anyhow, my reflections about the gathering of birds has probably a lot to do with my present set of mind.
Yes, why do birds such a thing?
I am sure that many people feels the urge to do so too.
Then, there is that conflict between the Nomads and the… what the hell is the name for that!?
I don’t even know it.
Funny, isn’t it?
When you think that all of us are here for such a short time, would you not wonder why most of us, me included, we are so adamant to have as many possessions as possible?
Really, why this.
All the same, it seems that it is part of the human nature.
We want freedom and then we attach our-self to every possible belonging.
For the moment, what I see the most in bird ’s gathering is the fact that they do it in group.
And that makes me realise, again, I am a bit of a loner, so, this is probably where and why, I don’t fit in the holiday packages and the rest.
When you think of it, would that make me more an adventurer than anything else?
I rather like unusual things.
That’s true!
Well, to be honest, trying to take the normal path, has never agreed very much with me.
While to trod into new ways seems better and even easier.
Of course, there is a kind of pattern in my life too.
Always been so.
Trying this, trying that.
Trying to get above, or over, my shortcomings and be a better me: that fails always!
Trying to accept myself as I am, well…
Trying.
Now, more than ever.
Let us see!
I think that I must write!
And so do I.
At least, I must say there is an uneasiness in me and that’s probably the reason I feel so compelled to do it.
To say it clearly, I want to do it while I don’t know how to get to the next stage of my relationship with…
So much so but also because I want to earn a living with my writings.
It seems a necessity.
But as I say this is also to have something to hold on while the relationship has to shape itself a bit more.
So, with all that in mind, I feel the energy and the surge and go for it.
Then!
Of course, wordpress won’t open, so, here I am.
Today, I wanted to start there and later eventually I would have put the text here.
But things are going in reverse and so is my text.
I never intended to write such and such.
Only about why and how birds gather.
But with such a theme, I was bond to come across myself…
Yes! I do see why, at this stage.
Coz as much as I understand the need to have two places, as much I don’t understand the group needs.
And it is always a kind of reminder about my little autism.
Coz this is how it is called.
All my life I did immense efforts to join the party.
So much so, that many people now are laughing their heads off when I say I am autistic.
But nevertheless, I am.
Not much, but enough to understand the struggles of people in that condition.
Should I be utterly honest?
I will.
Why did I always felt so unattached to my place of birth?
Because I was never accept as I am by my mother.
And now that I can explain to her why it was so difficult between us, she rejects me even more.
Without speaking about my sister.
So, I feel like an orphan.
And this is why now I give it all to one being.
There is nothing to hold me back.
Nothing.
Only some friends, but true friends do not hold you back.
So, this is happening, now.
For real.
One of my friend answered elsewhere to the same post.
Making paralleles between the animal and the human world.
She is right of course.
I answer this…
Well, thank you L. J. for the answers.
All the same!
You are right but I am not wrong.
Being autistic doesn’t mean you want to separate, it means you can’t fit.
Well, more or less.
In my case it was less, but still enough to have a daily struggle into it.
Sure, animals tends to gather.
But some are well-know for their lone ways.
As I was speaking of birds, I’ll go on following that line!
If you compare, for example, wood-pigeons or starlings and even sparrows with blackbirds and robins, you’ll see that the first are group animals and the last are more or less loners.
I see that every day, even in my small town-garden, one blackbird, two at most, one robin and plenty of tits and sparrows and doves and crows…
Or not faraway, on the fields: flock of seagulls, and dozens of geese.
Then again the grey heron…
Ted Andrews even takes him as an omen of loneliness.
If one encounters it often, it means one is not going to keep with the Joneses…
